by Brian Clarey
1. Variations on the candidates
Never before has a national election been so terrifying, so it’s a natural to want to channel some of the electorate angst into your Halloween costume. For the low-hanging fruit, go as Trump or Hillary, but for something a little more refined, give it a tweak: Zombie Hillary. Prep-school Trump. Bernie Sanders in a nightshirt. Whatever.
2. Other candidates
Anyone can be Trump or Hillary. But it takes a real wonk to find the right hat and go as Rep. Alma Adams, or replicate the clean spikes of Rep. Mark Walker’s haircut. Gov. Pat McCrory’s look could be easily emulated with a little hair product, an open-collared shirt and non-aggressive glasses. Or try a mash-up: state Rep. John Blust as a football coach, or state Sen. Trudy Wade as an Avon Lady.
3. Zodiac Killer Ted Cruz
This one makes itself: formless suit, pomade hairdo and a few strategic bloodstains, with allusions to the signs of the zodiac as clues.
4. Trump grope victim
Credit for this goes to Bill Maher, who suggested on “Real Time” this weekend that the effect could be achieved by gluing tiny, orange doll’s hands to your body.
5. A Clinton mistress
Take your pick: Paula Jones, Gennifer Flowers, Monica Lewinski… the well actually runs pretty deep on this one if you include rumor and supposition in the search.
6. A key demographic
This year’s presidential election may be settled by suburban moms in the Philadelphia area and North Carolina, and by a new type of North Carolinian identified as a “halfback” — Yankees who settle on retirement in the Old North State rather than Florida (see more on halfbacks in this week’s editorial, on page 10). These Carolina snowbirds can be portrayed by wearing shorts with knee socks and sandals, and maybe a New York Giants T-shirt with some gold jewelry. A tracksuit would work, too.
7. Ken Bone
You think you’re the only one who tracked down the Izod 3/4-zippered red sweater with the brocade texture after seeing it on Ken Bone when he asked a question during the town hall debate last week? Think again. It sold out in a day on amazon.com.