7 Lessons a Montana Farm Taught Me About Real Leadership – Tony Berenyi

Looking back, I didn’t realize at the time, but growing up in Montana taught me more about leadership than any school education could have. On the farm, outcomes showed up immediately. You get to see firsthand the results of your hard work and the consequences of taking shortcuts.

If I could sum up what growing up in hard-working Montana taught me, it’s this: The farm is the ultimate accountability machine. It turns “good intentions” into measurable results.

I credit my successful leadership operating system to the upbringing of humility, hard work, and loyalty. I learned how to apply these values in everything I did on the farm. 

Later, I learned those same rules apply in boardrooms, only the consequences are delayed and easier to deny.  

The first lesson: Accountability is not a slogan, it’s ownership 

The word accountability gets thrown around a lot in the workplace, but I feel that the meaning has been lost. On the farm, if the job doesn’t get done, animals suffer, crops fail, and the family pays. 

In the workplace, accountability fails not because companies don’t have a strategy. It fails because of an ownership issue. A good leader doesn’t outsource responsibility. They shoulder it head-on. In today’s world, leaders need to lead with courage. They confront problems head-on, they confess mistakes, and learn from them. My time on the farm taught me that what sets successful leaders apart from those who aren’t is taking responsibility for failures.  

The next time something goes wrong, replace “Who dropped the ball?” with “Where did our system fail, and who owns fixing it?” You’ll find that team members respond positively to this approach. 

The second lesson: Standards are kindness when they protect people 

As children, we saw rules as restrictive or as something that kept us from having fun. But growing up on a farm taught me that safety rules and routines aren’t “strict,” they’re how you avoid injuries and disasters. 

The same applies to the workplace. Clear standards reduce anxiety and politics. Your team members don’t fear high standards. They fear unclear ones. Good leaders are afraid of setting high standards when they’re paired with dignity. In my teaching, I tell leaders to never settle for “good enough” from their team or themselves.

Tell yourself, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence… is a habit.”  

A true leader will define clear, high-quality standards so that all team members understand what they mean and how to achieve them. Because when paired with dignity, high standards equal stability. 

The third lesson: Relationship-first leadership is not soft, it’s serious 

A lot of the time, the leaders make the mistake of thinking that ruling with an iron fist or fear-based leadership is how you lead people. I counter this way of thinking with a relationship-first approach.  

This is one of the most common gaps I see when working with leadership teams through Berenyi Consulting: leaders want loyalty without first investing in the relationships that make trust possible.

In leadership, you serve the reality in front of you. On the farm, this meant animals, weather, breakdowns, and the people working beside you. In those moments, I learnt that trust and reliability are built daily or they erode. You don’t negotiate with trust. 

If you look at this from a leadership perspective, relationship-first leaders consistently earn trust, removing confusion and protecting people under pressure. One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned over the years is that a true leader makes the hard calls early. Especially when it costs the most personally. I’ve always maintained that bravery is a key trait of leadership, and I lived it when I safely led my 250-soldier Gulf War mission.  

Trust is the core of relationship-centered leadership expressed through service. That is why I firmly believe that businesses built this way last. 

The fourth lesson: The weather taught me strategic thinking 

You wouldn’t think that something as simple as the weather taught me strategic thinking. But it did. When you’re working on a farm, the weather is everything. You plan around the seasons, forecasts, and worst-case scenarios. For example, you don’t just plant and harvest when you feel like it. The weather decides that for you, and sometimes it’s unpredictable. 

Leadership in the workplace is like that, too. You can never truly predict what’s going to happen next and how people will react.  On a farm, you learn to respect reality. In business, leaders often punish reality for failing to match the plan. 

So you prepare. You get ready for any scenario. I always emphasize that strategy is readiness. 

But make it concrete. A good leader will have contingency planning, buffers, reserves, redundancy, and maintenance in their strategy arsenal. My The Berenyi Life Blueprint teaches that stability requires structure across the system. 

The fifth lesson: Systems beat motivation 

Motivation sounds nice on paper, but in the real world, it rarely results in the desired outcome. For example, growing up on a farm, there were always chores. I didn’t complete the chores because I was feeling “inspired.” No. I completed those chores because the system required it.  

In the workplace, your team members might not be performing to the best of their ability, not because of a lack of motivation. They’re not motivated because you lack systems. Culture is not a speech. It’s a system.

If you’re constantly “motivating” your team, you may be missing systems: roles, rhythms, metrics, consequences, and feedback loops. Good coaches can motivate by identifying each person’s strengths and assigning roles accordingly. You’ll show genuine appreciation and empathy. This is what motivates loyalty. Not a pretty speech to inspire.  

The sixth lesson: Humility is built into the land 

Humility is at the heart of everything that I do and is one of the hardest lessons to learn in our personal lives and careers. My years growing up on a working farm taught me that you lose battles you didn’t see coming. Weather shifts when you least expect it, and equipment fails at the worst possible moment. That’s life. 

You can react with anger and denial. You can react with “It’s not my fault.” But if you want to be successful in life, that attitude will only take you so far. 

Humility is optional. But so important. It’s what keeps you learning, listening, and correcting. I always tell coaches that ego makes leaders late. Humility makes leaders early. Humility helps leaders seek input, admit mistakes, and remain teachable. Humility is also one of the hardest lessons to learn. I know this. I often remind myself to remember my roots on the farm. This keeps me grounded.  

In leadership, humility and integrity go hand in hand. As a leader, your integrity is constantly under pressure, but it’s important not to give in. Instead, I recommend being open about your limits. Admit mistakes and share what you’re learning.  

The seventh lesson: Be prepared for the hard-season  

I’ve said it already, but you can never fully predict what happens in life. The only thing you can do is prepare for the hard season. When the season turns, you find out what you really built. It’s important that you have a solid foundation because adversity tests the foundation with all that it’s got. 

Start your foundation with my Montana Farm Leadership Checklist: 

• Own outcomes instead of debating intent. This means focusing on the impact of your actions. 
• Set standards that protect people and performance.
• Serve first by strengthening trust and removing confusion and fear. People don’t fear strong leadership. They fear confusion and chaos. 
• Plan for unpredictable seasons instead of hoping for smooth weather.
• Build systems that don’t require daily heroics because heroics have no place in leadership.  
• Stay humble enough to correct fast.  

I know it’s hard. But stay resilient in hard times because those are the times that determine who you will become.