All She Wrote: 50 Ways to Leave Your Governor

(With apologies to Paul Simon)

by Nicole Crews

The problem isn’t all about the head, he said to NC.

The answer is genitalia quite frankly.

So we’d like to offer up some options to be McCrory-free.

There must be 50 ways to leave your governor.

He said it’s not really my habit to intrude, but a man’s junk in the ladies’ locker might be misconstrued as crude.

We will repeat ourselves at the risk of being sued.

There must be 50 ways to leave your governor — 50 ways to leave your governor.

Let your business slip out the back, Red Hat

Take an economic stand, Dan

You don’t need to be coy, Roy — we’re voting for ye.

Hop on the Bill, Phil.

We need to discuss much — like the nullification of civil action against discrimination and such

Just drop off the key Mc-Cror-y

And set us all free

He said it’s all just liberal hullaballoo and I am right.

And I believe in the morning you will all begin to see the light.

And then more than 100 CEOs boycotted our state in a fortnight.

There must be 50 ways to leave your governor — 50 ways to leave your governor.

Write a letter to your rep, Shep

Make a few waves, Dave

Move outta state, Nate

Just listen to NC

Get a new plan, Fran

We need to discuss much — like equality and worker’s rights, right?

Just drop off the key McCrory — and set us all free

He said it grieves me to think of our wives and daughters being subjected to such distress and pain.

We wish he understood that the LGBTQ community won’t smile again — until we find a way to leave our governor.

There must be 50 ways to leave our governor.

“Our decision is a clear and unambiguous one,” said CEO Dan Schulman of PayPal.

And we appreciate the message and we like your style. That’s surely one way to leave our governor.

“As a company that is committed to the principle that everyone deserves to live without fear of discrimination simply for being who they are, becoming an employer in North Carolina, where members of our teams will not have equal rights under the law, is simply untenable,” said PayPal.

And other businesses have been against it for a while.

There must be fifty ways to leave our governor.

Let them hear ya, Bank of America

Way to scrabble, Apple

Show them your whine, American Airlines

Show them frugal, Google

Just set yourself free.

It looks like both sides are down for quite the fight.

HB 2 is keeping us all up at night.

It’s put out the light on Civil Rights.

There must be 50 ways to leave your governor — 50 ways to leave your governor.