All She Wrote: Welcome to Greensboro, Part 2

by Nicole Crews

Mother: So has anyone come up with a slogan for Greensboro yet?

Me: I drove by the Convention & Visitors Bureau the other day and noticed a club next door called “Sexy Party Bar & Club” maybe that should be it: Greensboro: It’s one Sexy Party.

Mother: They should have embraced the Green trend when it was still green.

Me: That’s what my friend Angie said when we were walking the greenway the other day.

Mother: Greensboro: The Green Way.

Me: I just wish they would stop building doo-dads along the Greenway and finish the actual greenway.

Mother: The greenway wasn’t built in a day.

Me: You may be on to something.

Last week I touched on my tenure as a travel writer that put me in cahoots with tourism boards, convention and visitors bureaus, chambers of commerce and their ilk across the globe. It struck a nerve with me — and with many readers — that cities, towns and regions are often poorly characterized in the literature supported by these organizations. It also hit home to many that neighborhoods define a city as much as — if not more so — than the commercial and cultural landscape.

As part of my civic duty as a Greenswegian, to the north I cited Fisher Park (Nortslandia), Irving Park (Snots Landing — home to movers and shakers and very few Quakers) and Kirkwood (Milftown — where fit moms shake the baby weight). To the east I noted Aycock (where you can get a gingerbread house for a steal and get mugged during the transaction) and White Oak (Endenturetown — where you sleep it off between shifts). Southside was dubbed Divercity and West Greensboro’s College Hill was named home to freaks and geeks for several generations. Glenwood earned the Silver Lake moniker and Lindley Park became where Whiskey Row has morphed into Brunchville. Per your request, here are a few more.

North Greensboro:

Lake Jeanette (Culdesacistan) — Land of gold chains, gauche manicures and palladian windows where SUVs roam free and kids form Twitter gangs.

New Irving Park (NIP) — Where nouveau riche is better than no riche at all.

Latham Park (Atlantis by the Park) — When not deep in the flood zone, this Buffalo Creek-adjacent hood is a fitness-friendly section of town — especially if you are good at the backstroke.

Bur-Mil Park (Dashtown) — Parks & Recreationville to the Northenders and those who like to drive 20 minutes to exercise.

East Greensboro:

Bessemer (Divercity East) — Home to Greensboro’s largest Spanish speaking population and where more than 5 percent of its residents speak African languages, Bessemer is the melting pot of Guilford County.

Dudley Heights (Tuscaloosa by Lee) — Sandwiched between Barber Park and Highway 29, Dudley Heights keeps it real as a primarily African-American subdivision with a rich history.

South Greensboro:

Adams Farm (Strip Mall City) — The fancy end of High Point Road that’s not quite Sedgefield.

Grandover (Camelot by the Highway) — A gated community with a resort and conference center. No golf shirts, no Tory Burch sandals — there’s a problem.

West Greensboro:

Hamilton Lakes (Whoknewville?) — Practically its own town, Hamilton Lakes veers from the modest to the grandiose in its architecture and residents.

Sunset Hills (the Tenure Triangle) — Where college professors hang their hats between midlife crisis and retirement.

The Cardinal (Sorta Sedgefield) — A golfer’s paradise where you can pop a top or a collar without ruffling anyone’s feathers.

Guilford College (Quakertown) — Where friends live between Friendly and New Garden.

Westerwood (the Fraternal Forest) — UNCG-adjacent, Westerwood is home to more dream catchers and yard art than any other hood in the city.