Fresh Eyes: Unemployed and feeling like myself again

by Louis Bekoe

Hello, fellow unemployed. I am among you brethren once again. The last time I was laid off, it allowed me to expand my horizons into the world of filmmaking. This time, I have no idea what to do.

I appreciate those who say, “It’s for the best,” and “You’re talented and creative, you’ll find something.” I’m sure I will. But what?

Move to a new city? Fat chance on selling my condo in this market.

Go back to school? Only if I can figure out how to get enough grants, because the last thing I need is another loan.

Keep making excuses? Absolutely not! I’m going to do something. I’m going to wake up, have a cup of coffee prepare my résumé to get back in the workforce again! Yeah, that’s it… right after I get off Facebook… and after I finish watching this show on TV… and after a shower. Okay, right after breakfast, maybe lunch.

Instead of zoning out, I’m tuning in again. The pantry is restocked and I’m discussing recipes. There is something slightly peaceful about watching others hustle and bustle around. The smell of burgers wafting from the restaurant across the street has me intrigued about what is on the menu instead of it being a reminder that I have to eat something.

I almost said “hey” to the mailman. The guys mowing the lawn and using leaf blowers haven’t bothered me. Emergency vehicle sirens aren’t the nuisance that they once were.

I think I’m starting to see people and not just their jobs. “Hey, how’s it going?” isn’t a polite prelude to “I need this and it’s your job to get it for me.”

I find myself on cruise control from destination to destination. I’m seeing billboards, new construction, new neighbors… things I never paid much attention to.

After I lost my job, for the first time in a long time I turned on the radio. I drove to work and back home in silence. All I wanted was to clear my head for what I have to do next. Listening to the radio would mess up my mojo if I heard terrible songs on multiple stations. I had no interest or patience in waiting for the next song to come on. It either worked or it didn’t, and if it didn’t I got rid of it.

I can’t remember the last time I saw a band without having to get home and get enough sleep to function the next day.

I’m cleaning my condo because I want to. Not because company is coming over.

I want to go to the zoo. On a weekday for no reason at all except that it’s something I haven’t done since I was a kid.

Hang out at the mall? Okay, that may be taking it too far.

Anyone need any help chopping firewood? I’ve never done it, but I’ve seen it on all of these survival shows and it looks rewarding albeit monotonous.

I had a brownie for breakfast. That reminds me that I also have no excuse for exercising now.

I would be more than happy to ask my neighbors for their car keys so I can park their cars correctly for them.

I’m still waiting for more script ideas to pop into my head so I can go on a 24-48-hour writing binge. It’ll be the greatest script ever written, until I write the next one.

I wonder who I could call to bust some of these teens for skipping school, just in case I’m feeling mischievous one of these days.

I have time to read up on what the candidates are really about rather than going by the mudslinging commercials.

Maybe I should run for office. After reminiscing about the crazy things I’ve done that may have been on video, maybe I should bow out of that campaign now. Everyone loves a little scandal, right?

If I rocked out on guitar, would the neighbors call the cops? Oh wait, they’re at work. Let’s warm up with the volume on 7.

I had a soda out of a glass bottle. Not a can or 20-ounce from the vending machine for the purpose of its caffeine. There was something magical about that.

I put on my class ring and sang the “Captain Planet” theme song while taking out the recyclables. No shame. And I’ll do it again.

What in the world am I doing? I’m enjoying doing nothing for bit. Coming from a job where I didn’t end the day at 5 p.m., took my work home with me and did something for work every weekend. I find myself enjoying… being myself again.

I’m on vacation… until the mortgage payment is due.

Louis Bekoe is the best unemployed filmmaker in the Triad. Find him on Facebook, LinkedIn, the IMDB and a park bench near you.