Trump’s America: Space Force!

It’s about damn time we got a space force.

As much as I enjoy doing it, it’s not really my job to write about President Trump and his diaper full of moronic statements, ham-fisted ploys, petulant glowering and off-the-cuff fabrications — and also that thing where he plunges the nation into an authoritarian nightmare.

To my discredit, it’s the more inconsequential things that hang me up: His stupid long ties and ill-fitting suits. How Melania looks at him like she’s plotting to poison him or push him down the stairs. The way his voice trails off at the end of his sentences like a barroom drunk who’s forgotten his point.

And now I’m stuck on Space Force.

I know: The announcement was obviously a distraction from the internment camps where we’re keeping all those children — totally out of the blue, not completely thought out and issued with that weird nose-breathing thing Trump does when he’s worked up about something.

I believe that he does not realize that he lacks the authority to create a new branch of the military, just as I believe that he does not understand the fundamentals of space and why it’s important for us to explore it. Sorry — dominate it. He showed as much when his 2018 budget directed NASA to defund its space stations and concentrate on putting Americans back on the moon — but just in theory because there’s no funding for that either.

I’m also reasonably certain we’re not going to get a Space Force on Trump’s watch. But I could definitely be convinced that he wants to build a hotel on the moon.