What the hell is going on with Kim’s Kafe in Greensboro? We asked some people to find out.

UPDATED (9/4): This story was updated to include a statement from Desire Valentine and an update to the event she created.

The tea, as they say, is piping hot.

When the controversy surrounding Kim’s Kafe in Greensboro hit social media over the weekend, it almost instantly went viral. It’s a little hard to tell how and where it got started, but rumor on the streets is that a woman tried to go to the Black-owned soul food restaurant and was turned away for how she was dressed. In the ensuing hours and days, the business owner, Kimberly Stewart, has come under fire for posting on the front windows and door of her restaurant multiple rules regarding how customers should dress.

Written on the glass is everything from, “NO crop tops,” to “DO NOT ENTER IF YOU HAVE ON SHORTS,” with the first two words underlined.

T-straps, leggings, white T-shirts, short skirts or outfits showing cleavage are barred as well. 

The guidelines, which have been in place at the restaurant since the spring, has caused a stir within the Greensboro community and beyond. On Sept. 1, the business’s Facebook page made a reminder post for patrons reiterating the dress code. The post was shared almost 800 times and had more than 5,000 reactions. While many in the community have gathered to support the business, others have called for the business to close and have even called into question the owner’s personal relationships and business practices.

In the midst of the controversy, a white woman named Desire Valentine created a now-canceled Facebook event called Slut Lunch at Kim’s! which garnered more than a thousand responses, with 143 people responding.

So how did this happen?

According to people Triad City Beat interviewed, Kim’s Kafe became a viral hit after a TikTok account, Ride With Yusuf, visited the restaurant last year and made a positive anonymous review. He told people to visit the restaurant and support the business. In the aftermath, lines snaked out the door and the business saw a huge spike in popularity. Cut to a year later and a new dress code was put in place, putting some customers off. But the issue, according to those TCB spoke to, is more nuanced than the drama makes everything appear.

‘I do agree with both sides’

Tiah Henderson has known Kimberly Stewart, or Miss Kim, as she’s known in the community, for years. According to Henderson, Miss Kim used to come into the nail salon where she worked and sell her cupcakes.

“We call her Cupcake Kim,” Henderson told TCB.

Another woman who works near Kim’s Kafe and talked to TCB on the condition of anonymity confirmed that Stewart got her start selling plates in the community before she opened her brick and mortar.

“She’s been a community staple for years,” the source said. “She would pull up to different nightclubs to serve food. She’s given food to the homeless countless times. If you’re someone in her area that patronizes her business, she’s the first one to jump and go overboard.”

When the business was finally able to open a storefront off of Dolley Madison Road after the pandemic, the community was excited to welcome another Black restaurant to the scene.

“There’s not that many Black businesses around here,” said Mutsa Mukahanana, who visited the restaurant last year after it went viral. “There’s not a lot of options for soul food.”

But whether it was the sudden increase in patronage, the business struggled to keep regular hours, according to Mukahanana.

“I’m pissed off because I want to support a Black business, but every time I try to go it’s always closed,” Mukahanana said. “There should be consistency. Like how am I supposed to support you?”

And then when the dress code was more strictly enforced, Mukahanana said it caught her by surprise.

“I understood why everyone got upset,” she said. “The people who were lining up outside the doors for three hours were not wearing pants and suits.”

To her, it feels like Stewart is pushing away the people who helped make her business a success. 

“It feels kind of weird,” she said.

But for the source who works nearby and has gone to the restaurant frequently, she said she understands why Stewart put the restrictions in place.

“I think what she’s doing is trying to bring a little substance to southern dining,” she said. “I think she’s trying to present a southern, family-centered environment and a lot of what she was getting was not that.”

The source pointed to the fact that some of the patrons wore baggy shorts or women showed cleavage when there were kids in the restaurant.

“It was just not very presentable for a family-oriented space,” she said.

While some people have alleged that the rules were put in place because Stewart’s husband has “wandering eyes,” both the anonymous source and Henderson said that Stewart is not married. She runs the business with her children.

Henderson, who has gone to the restaurant multiple times, notes the marble floors, the chandeliers, the paintings on the walls all point to the kind of atmosphere Stewart is trying to create.

“Inside, it’s nice,” Henderson said. “It’s very sleek, I would say.”

Still, she said that she can understand why some people are angry.

“I do agree with both sides,” she said. “There’s a level of unprofessionalism there.”

Even those who support the restaurant said that the way the rules have been expressed could have been better.

“I think her delivery as a 62-year-old woman from the south was very sharp,” the source said. “It was very cutthroat. It was also very ambiguous, like what are you trying to say? What exactly do you mean?”

Mukahanana said that she wants the business to succeed but that the way the dress code was expressed to people was too aggressive.

“The way you’re writing it on the doors, it feels like you’re yelling at me,” she said. She pointed to other Black businesses like Luxe Soulfood and Cocktails which also has a dress code but did so in a different manner.

“You have a clear example of a place that has a dress code that was easily communicated to everybody,” she said. “It was about the execution. She made a mistake; she has to take responsibility.”

Since the controversy, the Kim’s Kafe Facebook page has posted several times, mostly to thank customers for their continued support.

The business declined an interview when reached by phone on Tuesday.

‘This is a Black issue’

Henderson said as a Black woman, she understands that some of the rules feel like they are targeting a certain identity. For Byron Gladden, he said it makes sense that people took the strict rules the wrong way.

“With how things are politically, women feel like they are being attacked,” Gladden said. “They feel like they are being judged on the reproductive side and they are being judged in this country; this just adds more to it. They don’t need someone else pointing their fingers at them.”

Gladden, who has never been to the restaurant, also said that the dress code, despite being from a Black business owner, does feel reminiscent of the past. He said that people who look a certain way get to dine in, but others have to take their food to-go, which recalls standards from the Jim Crow era.

“It looks like we have projected a caste issue,” he said.

Desire Valentine, the white woman who created the “Slut Lunch” event on Facebook posted similar sentiments. After getting pushback from some that the event was attacking a Black business, Valentine posted in the page that she created the event as a “tongue in cheek joke” and that everyone in attendance will be “attending with the intentions of purchasing and eating lunch from a Black-woman owned local business.”

“I would be lying if I said that I don’t believe the dress code is ABHORRENTLY anti women and working class people,” Valentine posted.

But Gladden and others told TCB that the event is dangerous, especially when it could be seen as a group of white people ganging up on a Black business.

“The response has been co-opted by white women,” Gladden said. “No, this is a Black issue, a Black business. Nobody asked for backup; stand down.”

Henderson agreed.

“I honestly think it has gone too far,” she said. “I believe that the hatred towards her, the malice and talking about her business is just unnecessary. We’re all for this Black Lives Matter all the time but not really giving people space to make mistakes and recognize their behavior.”

In a statement to TCB, Valentine said that she created the event as a joke and that “race was never a motivation.”

“A white owned business would have garnered the same response,” Valentine wrote. “If anyone knows me at all they know I am not an ill-hearted woman. I’m actually quite justice minded. I honestly thought the only people that would see it were my group of 30 friends and it took on a life of its own. The last thing I would ever want to do is to disparage not only a Black-owned business but a woman-owned business. Truth be told I never thought this would gain enough attention to even come into fruition. I did not intend to harm or offend, but I am sorry that it did.”

The event has since been canceled.

Mukahanana said that events like the Slut Walk and all of the attention that this controversy has gotten over the last few days speaks to the nature of social media and bandwagoning.

“Like what are you even trying to accomplish?” she asked. “You’ve put a spotlight on a Black business and you’re affecting a Black business.”

She said that everyone posting about the business now, is in it for the clout.

“That’s partly why I hate this,” Mukahanana said. “A year ago we were lining up to help this woman’s business. Like excuse me? What’s going on? Everyone wants clicks. You get more clicks for hating something than for supporting something.”

And at the end of the day, Gladden said that for those who are upset, they should just go somewhere else.

“With any business, any consumer, if you don’t like the business standards, there is somebody near you that is offering the exact same product,” he said. “Just patron somewhere else. It should not be to the point where she needs to feel like she needs to have police at her business. If she wants to deal with the economic ramifications, then fine. It’s not that serious.”

As for the food, the source told TCB that it’s “worth the wait.”

“I eat there like everyday,” she said. “I recommend the mac and cheese and the green beans; they’re both amazing.”