7 things to remember about Donald Trump

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You all just got Trumped! Losers.

by Brian Clarey

1. He’s rich
Donald Trump, who it seems is making a real run for president in 2016 (though we’re still not totally buying it), is a billionaire — like he would ever let you forget it. He made his money the old-fashioned way: by inheriting a bunch of cash and property in New York City from his father that he turned into a gaudy, gold-plated empire. Though four of his businesses have gone bankrupt — beginning in 1991 with his Taj Mahal casino in Atlantic City, NJ and ending with Trump Entertainment Resorts in 2014 — Trump himself remains flush.

2. He’s a second-generation American
Though Trump has strong words for immigrants and our nation’s policy on them — enunciated on the Statue of Liberty, right near where he grew up in Queens, NY — his mother was born in Scotland and his father’s parents were both born in Germany before crossing over. His first wife, Ivana, is Czechoslovakian, and his current wife, Melania, was born in Slovenia. His second wife, Marla Maples, is from Georgia.

3. That’s his real hair
Trump has been accused of wearing a toupee since he came to prominence in the 1980s, but that overcombed, pale mess atop his head is actually his real hair, grown long and swirled around his head like soft-serve ice cream.

4. He gets sued a lot
By his own admission he has been sued “hundreds” of times in his career, notably by the US Justice Department in 1973, the Securities & Exchange Commission in 2002, investors in a failed Mexican resort in 2009, the attorney general of the state of New York in 2013 and model Alexia Palmer in 2014. He has also sued lots of people, including Deutsche Bank, the city of Rancho Palos Verdes, Calif. and comedian Bill Maher, who insisted that Trump show his birth certificate to prove that his mother wasn’t an orangutan.

5. He once owned a professional football team
Anyone else remember the New Jersey Generals of the AFL? No? They drafted Heisman Trophy winner Herschel Walker in 1982 before the league went bust in 1985.

6. He doesn’t like losers
Among the people Trump has called “loser” over the years are Mitt Romney, Rosie O’Donnell, Graydon Carter, Seth Meyers, Frank Luntz, John McCain, Charles Krauthammer, Chuck Todd, Richard Belzer, Mark Cuban and George Will, along with thousands of others.

7. He’s dead serious
He clearly does not consider himself a punchline, even though most of the rest of us do.