After nearly two decades of raising children in our small home, my wife and I have finally figured it out.

We thought we were making a home, preparing our brood for adulthood and administering some basic house training on these kids.

But as our kids have hit teenagerdom, we realize that, in their eyes, what we are actually doing is running a bed & breakfast, and a fairly crappy one at that.

For example, we seldom have more than one breakfast option, and our laundry service is often limited to clothes that have been put in the hamper, which can sometimes leave favored items unwashed. Our dinner selections are often repetitive and uninspired, or so we’ve been told by our guests, and though they haven’t said this out loud, we suspect they think we’ve become a little too involved in their private lives.

We do try to make their stay at our little concern a pleasant one. There are plenty of snacks, though we admit sometimes they are of the wrong type, and we offer a nearly 24-hour car service to everyone who resides under our roof. We offer free wifi and television screens in nearly every room. Our guests are entitled to unlimited coffee and tea, as long as both are in stock, and though it has been insinuated that our wake-up system is often not as gentle as it could be, it is generally a reliable amenity.

Lately our guests have become a bit more… difficult, stockpiling dishes in their rooms before our bus team can get to them, extending their shower times to lengths that other hoteliers might find unreasonable, though it’s our fault for not having a hot tub, I suppose. And they’ve taken to requesting that their coffee and tea mugs be washed by hand instead of being run through the dishwasher, a concession I admit I am having some trouble accommodating.

But I’m working on it. The last thing we need is a bad Yelp review.

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